1) I am a super fan of all things Clifford Joseph Harris, Jr. aka Tip aka T.I. aka The Kaaaang Bitch, and
2) I believe with every ounce of my being that I deserve SPECIAL TREATMENT where ever I may go and most of the time I get it.
Now, imagine the combined feeling of sheer joy and unadulterated anguish I felt when I learned that Mr. Pussy Pumper #1 was going to be signing his new novel "Power and Beauty" at Barnes & Noble in Santa Monica, CA!
ATTENTION: This is NOT some sordid groupie tale. I often find myself clarifying my love for Tip's work as an artist because I'm cute and I'm smart (and obviously vain), but mostly because I'm a girl...and the only reason I could possibly be into T.I. is because I clearly think he's sexy...WRONG! I actually really enjoy his rap style, content and delivery. I find his intelligence refreshing and his vocabulary unmatched. He's also hilarious (See HERE...the fun starts at around 2:12). He's an attractive guy, sure...but he's nowhere near my "He Can Get It" List. Nowhere!
1) I contemplated not going at all because in my head I pictured being surrounded by paparazzi and groupies and bad ass kids.
2) I called the bookstore and John The Employee eased my fuckery fears, informing me that Tip would be in a room...upstairs...and you couldn't get in that room unless you had a wristband...and you couldn't get a wristband unless you purchased a book. I was informed that the line would begin forming around 6 PM and the signing would start promptly at 7 PM. I purchased my book/wristband over the phone and was told they would be waiting for me at the register.
3) After work, I high-tailed and hit it on down to Santa Monica (some 45 minutes away with traffic).
4) I arrived, grabbed my waiting items from the register and headed upstairs to...